I thought that this poem was kind of funny in my opinion although I dont know if you meant for it to be that way. Its just kind of funny that at the beginning of your poem you come off as talking about something super serious when in the end your just talking about rain.
I like how you took a normal subject, but made it appear so powerful with all of the language you chose to use. This was a really great poem and was written really well!
It was very deep and took a couple reads to understand it but the language you used and also it has one straight point that is very understandable and was overall an 11/10.
When you say our thoughts are gray and blurry and faded i think of it as we all have ideas that we want to act upon and we just don't do it cause its either strange in society or we just never have the courage or strength to do it. Nice job =)
This poem was like watching a short movie. I could picture the whole thing like it was happening in front of me. But, it is also very deep so I really enjoyed how it was three dimensional. It had a literal picture, but it also had a very profound meaning. I wonder why you added rain, but it made a really peaceful feeling at the end.
I like you use of repetitive, fast words to make it seem like a flood. I like how your poem didn't directly reference thoughts other than the one simile but was more of a metaphor instead. I also liked how the second line made the the poem give a cloudy unclear image.
I think it was really cool how your poem began off as something that showed great emotion and kind of gave off sad and depressed vibes, but in the end it was just about rain and how it falls.
This is one of the best poems I've seen from you, Jason! I think that it is so amazing because you are expressing so many feelings and images (which is a sign of imagery), while putting them in a 31 syllable poem! Usually, describing multiple feelings takes hundreds of words, but the amount of expressiveness & descriptiveness in this tanka amazes me!
I am once again taken aback by how good your poems are you never cease to amaze me with your skills as a poet this is something you are very good at don't stop doing it
you seem to have a trend with all your poems and that is that you seem to always write about the sky and stars and the connection to them always seems really close to you and it also seems like the poems you write just naturally come to you. it is just like there is a rainclous above a person flooding their thoughts.
I really like this poem because it can relate to so many people. I think that it shows that you have a lot on your mind and that sometimes it can be too much for a person to handle. I really love your figurative language and I think that it really adds a finishing touch to the poem. Good job!
I think this poem is super creative because 1, it connects to the physical earth, and 2 how it connects to your mindset and what you are thinking about. You have great creativity and you did a very good job!
I like how you compared emotions/thoughts to raining and floods. This has a more gloomy, sad emotion to it which helps get your point across better. I also liked how you described rain, but it can also be interpreted that you're describing thoughts.
First of all you are a very good poem writer and you describe your thoughts and feelings or the thing or person you are talking about very well. You make pictures in the readers mind and make them feel the emotions trying to be displayed throughout the poem.
I thought that this poem was kind of funny in my opinion although I dont know if you meant for it to be that way. Its just kind of funny that at the beginning of your poem you come off as talking about something super serious when in the end your just talking about rain.
ReplyDeleteI like how you took a normal subject, but made it appear so powerful with all of the language you chose to use. This was a really great poem and was written really well!
ReplyDeleteIt was very deep and took a couple reads to understand it but the language you used and also it has one straight point that is very understandable and was overall an 11/10.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say our thoughts are gray and blurry and faded i think of it as we all have ideas that we want to act upon and we just don't do it cause its either strange in society or we just never have the courage or strength to do it. Nice job =)
ReplyDeleteThis poem was like watching a short movie. I could picture the whole thing like it was happening in front of me. But, it is also very deep so I really enjoyed how it was three dimensional. It had a literal picture, but it also had a very profound meaning. I wonder why you added rain, but it made a really peaceful feeling at the end.
ReplyDeleteI like you use of repetitive, fast words to make it seem like a flood. I like how your poem didn't directly reference thoughts other than the one simile but was more of a metaphor instead. I also liked how the second line made the the poem give a cloudy unclear image.
ReplyDeleteI think it was really cool how your poem began off as something that showed great emotion and kind of gave off sad and depressed vibes, but in the end it was just about rain and how it falls.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best poems I've seen from you, Jason! I think that it is so amazing because you are expressing so many feelings and images (which is a sign of imagery), while putting them in a 31 syllable poem! Usually, describing multiple feelings takes hundreds of words, but the amount of expressiveness & descriptiveness in this tanka amazes me!
ReplyDeleteI am once again taken aback by how good your poems are you never cease to amaze me with your skills as a poet this is something you are very good at don't stop doing it
ReplyDeleteI liked how you took a normal topic and turned it into something really good. You were really serious about rain. Great imagery! Good job!
ReplyDeleteYou did well to discribe how you think and show how you interpret the world and how thoughts move
ReplyDelete-justin
you seem to have a trend with all your poems and that is that you seem to always write about the sky and stars and the connection to them always seems really close to you and it also seems like the poems you write just naturally come to you. it is just like there is a rainclous above a person flooding their thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem because it can relate to so many people. I think that it shows that you have a lot on your mind and that sometimes it can be too much for a person to handle. I really love your figurative language and I think that it really adds a finishing touch to the poem. Good job!
ReplyDeletei think you ave thoghts about water and the sky alot and mabey people are in a flood zone that you know and it makes me feel comfused
ReplyDeleteI think this poem is super creative because 1, it connects to the physical earth, and 2 how it connects to your mindset and what you are thinking about. You have great creativity and you did a very good job!
ReplyDeleteI like how you compared emotions/thoughts to raining and floods. This has a more gloomy, sad emotion to it which helps get your point across better. I also liked how you described rain, but it can also be interpreted that you're describing thoughts.
ReplyDeleteall of your poems seem sad to me,the show me about your personality and who you are
ReplyDeleteFirst of all you are a very good poem writer and you describe your thoughts and feelings or the thing or person you are talking about very well. You make pictures in the readers mind and make them feel the emotions trying to be displayed throughout the poem.
ReplyDelete