Elijah's Poem: ADHD
ADHD
ADHD is the story of my mind
It is hard to rewind
Remember past times
Because adhd is the story of my mind
It’s hard to focus
Like a whirlwind ripping through my mind
Making me daydream staring off into the sky
Sometimes i wish i could fly
Away from all the distractions that make it hard to
Keep track of time
Because ADHD is the story of my mind
I remember
No i don’t
i don’t remember that time
Birthdays lost in time
Hard to remember details from when i was nine
False memories that were not mine
Pictures on the wall wishing their memories could be mine
But i'm getting better
Starting to remember to put things in my bag before nine
Baby steps one at a time
Closer to remembering thing from back when i was nine
Getting easier to paint a picture of the past in my mind
Because ADHD is the story of my mind
I have ADHD as well and its really relatable in the sense that it is difficult to focus and properly interpret memories and learning things. I honestly have nothing else to say besides this is a great poem reaching out to others.
ReplyDeleteThis is whole new side of you. This is very brave of you to share this, and i like the description of what it is like
ReplyDeleteYour poem was really good. I think I learned a few things that I didn't really know about you. I applaud you for being brave enough to share this part of your life with the class. Overall, really nice job!
ReplyDeleteit was good becuase i knoe what you do with cant rmebering things and it know that is a problem you have so it is very good.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was very interesting with the stanzas ending with word that rhyme with mine. The repetitive phrases an ideas/thoughts in this poem made it unique and good. appriciate you sharing your struggle with the class, well done!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome job ELI i can really connect to this and im glad you wrote about something lots of people have in common
ReplyDeleteEli, I really enjoyed your poem because you expressed something about yourself and the rhyme added to your poem in great detail. I liked the repetition of "ADHD is the story of my mind" because it reminded us throughout the poem about it and your topic. Overall, great poem!
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Eli! I loved your theme being the story of my mind because it was very catchy and fun to work with. It also gave a picture to what your mind may look/feel like and I thought that you gave great emotion to your presentation. You also gave great examples! Amazing!
ReplyDeleteElijah, this poem is amazing! I love how you described ADHD as a serious condition and how you have to overcome such a disease that can harm people negatively! I also have ADHD and the way you described this poem is really related to what I have to deal with everyday. I also liked how you deal with your past and that you improve over time, encouraging people that ADHD is only a challenge, not a bad trait.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was very good ad expressed a frequent challenge you had every day. You express how you are trying to fix the problem so that you can know your details of your past better. The last stanza is very good at showing this.
ReplyDeleteEli, your poem was amazing. You allowed us to see into the difficulties that you face everyday. I can't imagine how hard it is to see a picture and not remember what's going on in it. I think you did a great job rhyming, and I really liked how you kept repeating "ADHD is the story of my mind." Overall, wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteYour poems good because it talks about your problems in the begging and talks about how you're trying to help yourself at the end.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this not for myself but for my sister, and I know it is hard to focus because she takes medication and it is slowly starting to help. Keep trying to focus and do your work, you have people here to help. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! I like how you state something and then admit immediately that it's not true. The rhymes are a bit repetitive but help add to the rhythm of the poem. I liked how you described how you were gradually coping with it. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem and shows how you have developed as a poet over this unit I liked how you used rhyme to elevate your whole poem This poem is truly the story of you
ReplyDeleteI really really love this poem because even though ADHD is something that I do not experience, it is something that so many others do. You had really good rhythm and rhyme and I think that made the poem really stand out. You really give us a sense of what your mind is like, which is something I wouldn't have thought of. Great poem!!!
ReplyDelete-Lucy
Eli, this poem is sooo good. This helps me to know you better even though we are close friends. It makes the listeners understand what you're going through and how your getting better and dealing with it. The rhyme really helped as well as how you connected to when you were younger. Fantastic job.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the rhyming, because t drew the audience in, and the confidence in your voice when presenting was amazing. I also liked how you took a spin off of how you are trying to take steps back and remember and you repeated the phrase "ADHD is the story of my mind", excellent job!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a good poem and I think that there are kids in this class that can relate to what you're saying. I can't really relate to this but I understand ADHD a little better now because of how you conveyed the poem. The rhyming in your poem was good, which gave it a good beat when you presented it to the class. While this talked about what it's like to have ADHD , you also included the struggle of having ADHD and not having memory of certain parts of your life.
ReplyDeleteMonique's Comment:
ReplyDeleteAlright Eli, I think that your idea to continue your rhyming scheme throughout your poem was a good idea. I also like how you said "I remember No I don't" because it gave us a little insight into how your mind works. I am very happy that you chose to share something so personal to you. Good Job!
In this poem you are really good at expressing the point that you couldnt remeber things that have happened in the past.
ReplyDeleteEli, you did really well on this poem. I liked how you went back in time and repeated "the story of my mind". It was like trying to remember memories that you can't remember. I honestly have nothing else to say... i'm speechless.
ReplyDeleteEli, I really liked your poem and how you wrote about something that affects you personally. It helped me picture some of the struggles that you face having ADHD and I learned a lot about you. Great Job!
ReplyDelete