Elizabeth's Poem: The All Mood Feeling

Elizabeth's Video

The​ ​All​ ​Mood​ ​Feeling

Have​ ​you​ ​ever​ ​felt​ that ​random​ ​feeling?

That ​feeling​ ​with​ ​everything​ ​combined.

That feeling when​ ​you​ ​get​ ​punished​ ​when​ ​you​ ​don’t​ ​do​ ​your​ ​homework.

When​ ​you're​ ​cheerful​ ​after​ ​eating​ ​cotton​ ​candy.

All​ ​mixed​ ​together​ ​like​ ​a​ ​sweet​, spicy, and​ ​smelly​ ​aroma.

That feeling, that​ ​​feeling​ ​that​ ​you​’ve​ ​never​ ​felt​ ​before.

That​ ​all​ ​mood​ ​feeling​ ​that​ ​changes​ ​the​ ​way​ ​you​ ​soar.

The​ ​feeling​ ​when​ ​you​ ​are​ ​longing​ ​for​ ​a​ ​brother​ ​or​ ​sister.

Any​ ​one,​ ​just​ ​a​ ​sibling.

To replace what you’ve lost.

That​ ​feeling​ ​when​ ​you​ ​want​ ​someone​ to​ ​go​ ​through​ ​what​ ​you’re going through.

Because you don’t fit in.

You are teased.

Teased by things you don’t even get.

You don’t understand, and they make fun of you.

You are left out.

Then you​ ​have​ ​that​ ​urge​ ​to​ ​want​ ​to​ ​be​ ​in​ ​a​ ​different​ ​class.

But you can’t do anything about it.

But the​ ​turnaround​ ​of​ ​the​ ​feeling​ ​when​ ​you​ ​see​ ​someone​ ​that​ ​would​ ​talk​ ​to​ ​you​ ​nicely.

I makes you want to spin around happily.

So you try to fit in and start a conversation.

But you don’t know how.

It​ ​makes​ ​you​ ​want​ ​to​ ​cry,​ ​but​ ​you​ ​hold​ ​back​ ​so​ ​others​ ​can’t​ ​tell​ ​you’re​ ​hurt.

So I hang on like I was falling off a cliff.

But one​ ​day,​ ​you​ let it out,​ ​and​ ​people​ ​make​ ​fun​ ​of​ ​you.

There are only few that would comfort you.

They tell you to break a leg and stay strong,

But others just leave you there alone.

In​ ​a​ ​tiny​ ​corner.

A​ ​special​ ​corner.

Your​ ​corner.

Alone.

The wind howled in the night as I weep and say to myself.

They only judge by looks.

Never my personality.

I’m not who they really think I am.

They just don’t get what I’m going through.

Mild CP.

And many more I don’t want to name.

They just don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes.

Everyone around me, all filled with HATE.

It makes me want to just get over with it.

The doors of death are welcoming me.

I try my best to hold back, and I make my decision.

I hold back.

But still,

Lost in the past.

I bang on the glass longing for what I’ve lost to come back.

Every day and every night,

But it just can’t be retrieved.

In the beginning everyone was nice.

But it changed throughout the school year.

I’ve never done anything to most of them, but that’s what I get back.

And I don’t know why.

I​ ​guess​ ​I’ll​ ​never​ ​find​ ​out​ ​because​ ​I’m an introvert.

Too shy to ask.

That​ ​feeling​ ​won’t​ ​go​ ​away,​ ​and​ ​it​ ​probably​ ​will​ ​stay​ ​forever​ ​until​ ​I​ ​get​ ​the​ ​courage.

But, it might not happen here,

Because I may not be coming next year.

That doesn’t mean a yes or no, but,

Either way, if I leave or stay,

I hope that at least some will remember me as a friend.

As I remember those who were nice to me.

I hope this will all end one day.

But even when it ends, all those tears will stay,

permanent in my mind.

I’ll never forget.

But when it ends, it will slowly get better.

It’ll be a long process.

That’s the all mood feeling.