Jason's Poem: Solitude
Solitude
Happiness to me, is me
Alone, and peaceful
Under a tree, on a hill that is only known to me.
Solitary, in my mind
Peacefulness, in it's prime.
I sit in the swaying shadows underneath a dancing oak tree,
My mind; at rest, and my thoughts; set free.
And I wonder
If that one cloud in the sky is lonely
and if it wished it was with someone else,
With a shoulder to cry on,
And a face to see, when you rise awake at dawn.
If it's saddened by seeing a flock of birds fly by,
And maybe it wished that it too, could fly away as fast, WHOOSH, as that flock of birds.
And maybe it wished that it too, could fly away as fast, WHOOSH, as that flock of birds.
And if that one cloud, floating weightless up in the untouchable sky
Sees the nest of birds in the tree that I sit beneath,
Maybe it sees the squirrels playing in the oak tree,
like toddlers running around a playground, happy and free.
And if it wished, that it too, could run around, and laugh with others.
Maybe it sees the boats along the lake,
close together as they all gaze up at the untouchable sky,
And maybe the cloud thinks,
“I wish I wasn't alone,
I wish I could have someone to
Run and play with,
Or fly away with
Or sit together and watch the sky with”.
And maybe the cloud feels as if it will never be happy, not while it's alone.
Maybe the cloud feels that it must be with someone, because it's supposed to be that way,
And maybe the cloud wishes it could have someone to be with,
and watch the world go by,
Someone to see in the morning,
And someone to see at night,
Someone to simply, be with,
Or
if it enjoys solitude,
And if it's thinking the exact same thing as me,
That sometimes, being alone in your mind is one of the greatest opportunities
Because there, you’re not told what to think
Or what to know,
How smart you should be,
Or where you’re supposed to go,
Or what you should be doing,
Or simply, who you should be.
Because the beauty that is independence, and individuality,
is the purest form of greatness.
Jason this poem is amazing! I liked how you compared the cloud's feelings with personification and compared it with yours. I can relate to this because sometimes I need time to myself. I also liked how you connected the beginning and the end stanza, that was great! Your rhyme was great too! Great job and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI loved this poem, Jason! This an amazing example of what spoken word should be, and I love how you talk about something that is peaceful that is yet bearing to talk about, and the way you talked about solitude in a calm and tmely manner sells the poem as a whole. Overall, this is an excellent poem.
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome Jason! I loved how you put your poem into a clouds perspective, it was really interesting. It was a very soft and peaceful poem, which I loved. The way you spoke it also embraced calmness and it makes for a good thing to wake up in the morning and read. AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Jason. You were able to describe yourself in a very creative and interesting form, making it more understandable, and shows us what it feels like.
ReplyDeleteThe poem is really good because it can be portrayed many different ways and it kind of connected to like how you talked about independence because people can interpret it many different ways.
ReplyDeleteThat was a very good poem, I think the poem is how you compare people wanting to be around other people to yourself and how you like to be alone. It was very well made and flowed extremely well.
ReplyDeleteWHOA that was amazing im for once speechless that was SO good i honestly don't know what to say right now it was just to good for words
ReplyDeleteThat was a really ,really, really, sick poem dude. I thought and could tell that you put so much heart and thought into this poem, and in the end, it really paid off. Great jobo jaysone
ReplyDeleteJason great job on the poem! The way you compared clouds to the way you feel was great, and very interesting. The rhyme in the poem was pretty cool, the way you connected the entire thing was awesome. Great work!
ReplyDeleteWow, this was very well written! It was a nice change from the normal poems that have been presented because most have been dramatic or talking about problems they face. This poem took a different approach, which I think was nice! It also made me feel very relaxed or at peace, great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! If I hadn't used autism for my topic, I'd either have used guinea pigs or this, so I can definitely see your point. Part of the annoyingness of school for me is all the other people, and this definitely expressed why. The sparseness of the slides also added to the calm of the poem. Great job!
ReplyDeleteJason, your poem was amazing. I liked how you thought about how the cloud may think and relating the clouds feelings to yours. It created an image of you sitting against a tree and looking at that cloud. You could tell you really thought about this and put effort into this poem. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how in your poem you compared it to a cloud and wondered about its emotions and thoughts towards solitude. I also liked that you were so calm when you presented the poem which I think added to the idea of solitude. And while you talked about the cloud, I feel like you wrote about the cloud how you felt. And in the end, I liked how instead of saying the sad parts of loneliness like you did throughout the poem, you said how amazing solitude can be.
ReplyDeleteJason, this poem was amazing! I liked how you compared your feelings to how a cloud's with personification. I also liked how you used a lonely cloud to describe your feelings. This poem was awesome! I could relate to this because sometimes, happiness to me sometimes is being alone and having my time to myself. The rhyming that you added to your poem added more to it. Overall, amazing poem Jason! You're a natural born poet!
ReplyDeleteThis poem sounds like a poem from one of the old dead white guys mr.coppla talks about and thats a good thing also it seems like your very interested in clouds.
ReplyDeleteJason: This poem was very well done! The way you had written this and the way that you presented it made it seem like you were a famous poet from renaissance (no joke)! I can connect to this poem a lot and I think that a lot of other people can also. I love how you focused on one solitary (see what I did there?) thing, a cloud. Your figurative language was amazing and I cannot believe how amazing this poem was overall. Good job!
ReplyDelete-Lucy
I forgot to say that this poem seems to be really personal to you and it expresses all of your thoughts and feelings in your mind.
DeleteThis poem was great and it had alot of imagery. you still had a poem about the sky and I thought that the poems u make about the sky are amazing. I thought when you were on the slide about the cloud that it was cloud 9. The poem was well structured and had alot of imagry and the poem was good I cant say anything more than that. Your poem was peaceful and not just about the grade and how you do. if it were up to me it almost sounded proffesional.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was very strong and it truly stands on its own. It does not really need an explaination and it isn't really open to interperetation because it has its own true meaning. You always write about relatable things. Good job!
ReplyDeleteJason, the way you compare yourself to the world by the things you see daily when your on your own is really amazing because you turn ordinary things into something so complex and make it your own. You get your point across the table and state clearly why it is a privilege to be alone. I can somewhat connect to this because people do put expectation on you and what you should be, but when you're alone the only one who can tell you what to be is yourself. You have the ability to be independent but still be strong and determined, but for some people, like myself it's hard to do that because of fear. I really admire the way that you view the world and make things your own.
ReplyDeleteJason, this is a great poem. It gives a little insight on how you view and experience the world. I liked your use of personification when comparing your thought's and feelings to a cloud's. I can relate to your poem because I have certain moments when I just want to be alone with all my thoughts. I appreciate all the effort you put into this poem and it was really creative. Overall, this is an amazing poem.
ReplyDeletei liked this becuase it is about you and i know sometimes you dont like to talk to people and i dont so i can relte to that
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