Joshua, your poem is stellar! I liked that you related your poem to Chicago & that you included lots of realism in it & text-to world connections, like the violence. Additionally, I think your title is creative considering that I wouldn't have called it The 7. It's really excellent that you also included some first-person parts where it makes it feel truly spoken as it immerses me in the poem. Overall, great job!
I thought that this poem was really well written but also, I thought that the way you delivered it to the audience made it seem so much more powerful which I thought was really cool. Good job on this poem Josh!
i really like how you talked about the relaties that people face and what is wrong in the city.i also liked how you talked about peoples lack of doing anything to change the city and they just mind there bisuness and let what is happingin happen. but over all it was very good!(:
This was a really deep and profound poem that had me reflect on my neighborhood and experience. They was you presented it made me feel like it was all flashing before my eyes, and it made me really want to take action. You used a lot of great smiles that helped me see the message that you wanted me to see. This really applied to me personally and I appreciated that. It was not a poem to just pass over, and that's exactly what you want in poetry.
You were able to share your experiences to the majority of people who can't really understand that. You able to add rhyming without it sounding too choppy. You were able to express how sad it is that Chicago is so segregated, and that there are issues that everyone talks about fixing, but they're not actually doing anything about. Clearly there was plenty of thought and effort put into this poem, and I think that you should keep writing like this.
This poem was very powerful. You expressed your emotions about what is happening in Chicago and near you. You did a really good job using literary devices such as rhyme that really made the poem come together. Amazing job!
I think it really showed problems and the truth and just sterotypes that are in Chicago and in the states in general. It also really showed how corrupt the system is and how police brutality is a situation that can be avoided. I honestly have nothing to say because if i said everything I liked id write down the entire poem. Great job :)
This poem was excellent, the way you changed your tone with each rhyme made the poem even better. The imagery was great, and I could easily see the setting that you were describing. You had a lot of real current issues in this poem, and I think that is great, it brought out more emotion and made the poem great. Excellent job Josh!
The poem really surprised me it was very well thought out and i could tell it really meant something to you I knew that the poem was about Chicago but the way you described it without saying was amazing I think very few people have that gift but you clearly do amazing job josh you could be an amazing rapper
I thought that your poem was really good and it described how you felt about your neighborhood. I thought the way you delivered your poem was good. Great Poem Josh!
I really enjoyed how this meant so much to you, and you expressed your identity and your culture in it. I could tell that this meant a lot to you and that this is a serious question that you are asking. I also like your all of your words flowed together. This was really good!
The way you presented it, made it feel more alive than if I were to read it. All the rhyme was very interesting, and gave it a signature touch. Great poem!
Joshua, I enjoyed hearing your poem. You added your personal touch by making the poem similar to a rap. You also expressed your opinion on violence in Chicago. I liked listening to it because you used very deep terms relating to war and different names for Chicago. I could really tell how you feel about your culture and identity.
I think you created an accurate image of Chicago. You focused on the negative factors but still explained why itś your home.You had lotś of rhyming so the poem seemed more like a rap (but thats your style so itś cool). You put out really good work. You made me visualize Chicago as a war zone so their was a dark feeling to it. It seems like you put a lot of work into your poem.
I loved how your poem talked about the struggles of blacks in Chicago or anywhere else in the world. You knew a lot about Vietnam and knew how to relate it to everyone. Your poem also sounded like the perfect rap song because it was well organized with a rhythm and rhyme that you kept up the whole time.
I thought the poem was very inspirational. It helped me to realize how much I could fall into that category of people who could change the world but play video games instead. The rhyming helped add meter and rhythm to the poem to make people pay more attention to it. The poem was a new look at real-world issues. Overall, its the sort of poem that teachers want to grade well but paying attention to it would force them to confront painful existential crises, which is excellent.
You are a man of many gifts. The perspective you present helps to define the realities of Chicago in authentic and meaningful ways. After examining your poem again, I began to think a lot about how you introduced the poem, through comparing it to Vietnam...this is considered by many to be a loss for the U.S. military. As I think about that and weave that into the context of your poem, I'm taken by the fact that many think Chicago is also a lost cause...except those that claim this as their home.
You're on the move, Joshua, and you continually impress me with the depth of your talents and creativity. It's great that you are coming into your own in this space, and I am grateful to be a part of this journey.
This poem was very emotional, and sadly, it is the truth. Everyone is equal like you mentioned in your poem but some people can't seem to find that. I can relate to this because I have seen a security running after helpless African-American teenagers. This poem was really phenomenal and you have a music/poetic taste! Keep up writing poems like these because they make a difference! Great Job, Josh!!!
The intensity of the poem was very high and I think that living in such a warzone "vietnam" is crazy and now people are experiencing this now and I do consider my neiborhood a warzone because there is always someone fighting with another person. There also was rythm to the poem and it flowed nicely but mabey you could do less of the bleh's in your poem if you mess up and just keep on going with the poem.
Joshua, I enjoyed listening to your poem. I liked how you addressed some of the problems that this city faces with racism and gun violence. I also appreciated how you used Vietnam to describe the violence that takes place in Chicago.
I liked how you gave the city an identity of how many people see it. Also, we all live in Chicago but we all have different experiences which was highlighted in your poem. I liked how you wrote about the struggles specific people have, and you spoke about the ones people of color more specifically have. You had a good rhythm when you read the poem to the class and I really understood your insight.
good job me
ReplyDeleteIts really good because it talks about issues that most people try to avoid and also tells of problems that are going on in our neighborhoods.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, your poem is stellar! I liked that you related your poem to Chicago & that you included lots of realism in it & text-to world connections, like the violence. Additionally, I think your title is creative considering that I wouldn't have called it The 7. It's really excellent that you also included some first-person parts where it makes it feel truly spoken as it immerses me in the poem. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteI thought that this poem was really well written but also, I thought that the way you delivered it to the audience made it seem so much more powerful which I thought was really cool. Good job on this poem Josh!
ReplyDeletei really like how you talked about the relaties that people face and what is wrong in the city.i also liked how you talked about peoples lack of doing anything to change the city and they just mind there bisuness and let what is happingin happen. but over all it was very good!(:
ReplyDeleteThis was a really deep and profound poem that had me reflect on my neighborhood and experience. They was you presented it made me feel like it was all flashing before my eyes, and it made me really want to take action. You used a lot of great smiles that helped me see the message that you wanted me to see. This really applied to me personally and I appreciated that. It was not a poem to just pass over, and that's exactly what you want in poetry.
ReplyDeleteYou were able to share your experiences to the majority of people who can't really understand that. You able to add rhyming without it sounding too choppy. You were able to express how sad it is that Chicago is so segregated, and that there are issues that everyone talks about fixing, but they're not actually doing anything about. Clearly there was plenty of thought and effort put into this poem, and I think that you should keep writing like this.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was very powerful. You expressed your emotions about what is happening in Chicago and near you. You did a really good job using literary devices such as rhyme that really made the poem come together. Amazing job!
ReplyDeleteI think it really showed problems and the truth and just sterotypes that are in Chicago and in the states in general. It also really showed how corrupt the system is and how police brutality is a situation that can be avoided. I honestly have nothing to say because if i said everything I liked id write down the entire poem. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteThis poem was excellent, the way you changed your tone with each rhyme made the poem even better. The imagery was great, and I could easily see the setting that you were describing. You had a lot of real current issues in this poem, and I think that is great, it brought out more emotion and made the poem great. Excellent job Josh!
ReplyDeleteThe poem really surprised me it was very well thought out and i could tell it really meant something to you I knew that the poem was about Chicago but the way you described it without saying was amazing I think very few people have that gift but you clearly do amazing job josh you could be an amazing rapper
ReplyDeleteI thought that your poem was really good and it described how you felt about your neighborhood. I thought the way you delivered your poem was good. Great Poem Josh!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how this meant so much to you, and you expressed your identity and your culture in it. I could tell that this meant a lot to you and that this is a serious question that you are asking. I also like your all of your words flowed together. This was really good!
ReplyDeleteThe way you presented it, made it feel more alive than if I were to read it. All the rhyme was very interesting, and gave it a signature touch. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteJoshua, I enjoyed hearing your poem. You added your personal touch by making the poem similar to a rap. You also expressed your opinion on violence in Chicago. I liked listening to it because you used very deep terms relating to war and different names for Chicago. I could really tell how you feel about your culture and identity.
ReplyDeleteI think you created an accurate image of Chicago. You focused on the negative factors but still explained why itś your home.You had lotś of rhyming so the poem seemed more like a rap (but thats your style so itś cool). You put out really good work. You made me visualize Chicago as a war zone so their was a dark feeling to it. It seems like you put a lot of work into your poem.
ReplyDeleteI loved how your poem talked about the struggles of blacks in Chicago or anywhere else in the world. You knew a lot about Vietnam and knew how to relate it to everyone. Your poem also sounded like the perfect rap song because it was well organized with a rhythm and rhyme that you kept up the whole time.
ReplyDeleteI thought the poem was very inspirational. It helped me to realize how much I could fall into that category of people who could change the world but play video games instead. The rhyming helped add meter and rhythm to the poem to make people pay more attention to it. The poem was a new look at real-world issues. Overall, its the sort of poem that teachers want to grade well but paying attention to it would force them to confront painful existential crises, which is excellent.
ReplyDeleteJoshua,
ReplyDeleteYou are a man of many gifts. The perspective you present helps to define the realities of Chicago in authentic and meaningful ways. After examining your poem again, I began to think a lot about how you introduced the poem, through comparing it to Vietnam...this is considered by many to be a loss for the U.S. military. As I think about that and weave that into the context of your poem, I'm taken by the fact that many think Chicago is also a lost cause...except those that claim this as their home.
You're on the move, Joshua, and you continually impress me with the depth of your talents and creativity. It's great that you are coming into your own in this space, and I am grateful to be a part of this journey.
This poem was very emotional, and sadly, it is the truth. Everyone is equal like you mentioned in your poem but some people can't seem to find that. I can relate to this because I have seen a security running after helpless African-American teenagers. This poem was really phenomenal and you have a music/poetic taste! Keep up writing poems like these because they make a difference! Great Job, Josh!!!
ReplyDeleteThe intensity of the poem was very high and I think that living in such a warzone "vietnam" is crazy and now people are experiencing this now and I do consider my neiborhood a warzone because there is always someone fighting with another person. There also was rythm to the poem and it flowed nicely but mabey you could do less of the bleh's in your poem if you mess up and just keep on going with the poem.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, I enjoyed listening to your poem. I liked how you addressed some of the problems that this city faces with racism and gun violence. I also appreciated how you used Vietnam to describe the violence that takes place in Chicago.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you gave the city an identity of how many people see it. Also, we all live in Chicago but we all have different experiences which was highlighted in your poem. I liked how you wrote about the struggles specific people have, and you spoke about the ones people of color more specifically have. You had a good rhythm when you read the poem to the class and I really understood your insight.
ReplyDelete