The One Rink: by Quinn Eatinger


The One Rink


My home-
All senses can relate to
An indoor winter day.
Sight, sound, smell,
touch and taste-
they all sense
cold, clean-cut winter.
Then
the blade from the foot-
firmly attached
steps onto this wonderland,
and cuts through the ice
as cleanly as a knife through soft butter.
Many, many more blades come
slicing through the doors,
skating faster and faster
with the rising excitement.
Then
through the sound of splitting ice
comes the familiar whistle
that signals the group of skaters together
to learn a new drill.
The whistleblowers are coaches,
that support and teach the team
to help them get better.
There are others
who drive a man made machine
to fill the cracks in the ice with water
to freeze over into a fresh sheet
of ice.
This-
is down a ways from the intersection
West and Madison,
Northwest from the city of
Chicago.
Surrounding it is Pete’s Fresh Market grocery store
and ironically, McDonald’s.
Along with Chicago Pawners
and the freight train tracks
blocking most of the sun
when the trains pass slowly
like the beginner skaters
who are learning to skate
and handle the puck, slowly.
Off and on the ice
are disagreements
on the slightest things,
making the two on
thinner
and thinner ice.
Something is also being repeatedly
done wrong during the drill,
and coaches start to yell
at what has to be done right.
Practice makes perfect.
That’s what we all came here for.
To learn from mistakes
and achieve goals.
10 pm.
Saturday night.
You can hear the announcer
Speaking faster and faster
with the growing excitement
of a player deeking past the defense,
heading towards the goalie
on a breakaway.
“OH! And she’s heading down to the goaltender
eyes wild with excitement and fury.
She fakes a shot!
She shoots!
SHE SCORES!!”
The horn blares
as music starts to play
in celebration of the goal.
There was no way
she could have done this
without the coaches’ support.
Coach
Kent,
Andy,
Emily,
Bobby,
and the goalie who taught her
The weaknesses of every
goaltender-
Murphy.
Drills no one else would understand-
“Red to
blue to
far blue to
red to
goal line-
GO!”
Language only the ones there
only the goalies-
“Up-downs,
Track!
Snap!
Rotate load!
Push and Set!”
Courage is with the team,
but with it comes fear.
Fear that after all this practice,
time, effort,
would turn out a
loss of a game,
a tournament,
setting disappointment
to the crowd.
But all stay strong
no matter the outcome.
Pushing through negative thoughts.
Through the winter day.
They have hope
for a win,
a goal,
a great save,
trophies,
medals,
plaques and
banners.
I am apart of this team,
and this is
my home.

Comments

  1. I enjoyed reading the poem myself and listening to you reading it as well. It showed that you have both a physical and emotional attachment to hockey. You clearly enjoy being on a team and practicing for a good outcome. It seems like you really understand what home is to you and you were confident in sharing that with the class. Good job!

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    Replies
    1. this s my comment i dotn have a bar but i like how you used the hockey words that nobobdy knew so it made it specice to you and i can relate because i play sports and i know what that is like

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  2. Reina -
    It was very nice and like a calming sort of poem with a little bit of excitement in some parts. She expressed her feelings very well and made you feel like you were actually there on the ice playing and feeling right at home.

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  3. Your poem was good! I've never seen a poem that was descriptive as yours, and I was into the poem! I like that the poem was related to your daily sport, and it sounds and looks good! Additionally, the figurative language was excellent with similes, rhymes, metaphors, & all kinds of other literary devices!

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  4. the poem was written extremely well and it was always exciting on what was to come next. It was so descriptive, and it was really cool how you didn't even have to use the word hockey to explain the poem, that is how descriptive it was!

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  5. I enjoyed how you used all of the senses to really imagine the hockey rink. Also, the similes and metaphors you used gave the reader the chance to relate to what you were expressing. Lastly, I loved how you increased you voice as you read the commentators part, it got me excited with you!

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  6. I enjoyed listening to the poem more than I enjoyed reading it, which is unusual for me. It is clear to see your emotional connection, which is one of the best parts of the poem. It seemed like you were so connected to the game that you didn't care that you were in front of the class, which was excellent. Great poem!

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  7. I think you did a really good job with describing everything you were talking about, and always comparing one thing to another.

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  8. I liked your poem, because it had a literal sense and a figurative sense. I loved in the beginning how you made a connection to all 5 senses. I also could understand what was being described in your poem, great job!

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  9. Quinn, I especially loved the bits of dialogue in here, and the way you read them (and I read them in my head) faster and louder, like an announcer at a game. You had some really great lines--both funny (e.g., the irony of the McDonalds next to the Fresh market) and poignant (comparing negative thoughts and a winter day). You did a great job using the five senses--sound, sight, etc.--to make this place feel alive to me, as a reader.

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  10. I really enjoyed this poem it really made me envision what the rink looks like and the pressure that is put onto the players to win. This poem really rubbed off on me, for a moment i knew what it was like to be in the rink and felt the water hit my skin. Great job!

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  11. I enjoyed all of the figurative language you used in your poem. The descriptive words that you used made me feel like I was in the rink. Good Job!

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  12. I thought that your poem was very interesting and it explained well on what your home was like. It had figurative language that helped to explain what was in your home and how you experienced your home. I had a great understanding of how your home was like and what was being described.

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  13. Lucy: The poem was really good and it was really descriptive. I could imagine being there or being a part of your hockey team. I would suggest not being so literal and being a little more figurative when you are describing things, for example, the streets and intersections.

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  15. this poem was a very exciting and cold at the same time because the imagry was very nice and I could understand what you were talking about in the first line of the poem I also used backround info to interpret this poem and it was good.
    XD

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  16. I could feel the excitement and enjoyment you have of hockey and it gave me insight into the thoughts you have as a hockey player. I really liked the comparisons you used in this poem, especially the one about the trains and beginner skaters both moving slowly.

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  17. I liked Quinn's poem because it was very exciting and I could visualize everything in the poem. She developed an image that someone could easily think of. Her dialogue was also very enthusiastic.

    -Brittany

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  18. It was very descriptive, and makes you feel in the moment and has lots of emotion

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  19. I love how you incorporated hockey terms in which most people wouldn't understand and also how you put emphasis on certain parts.

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