Adrian's Tanka: Outside


I am surrounded
By a place I cannot go
But i’m glad for that
Because where I long to go
the most dangerous of all

Comments

  1. The way you used fear in the first couple lines, but made it sound hopeful in the pivot point(third line) was great. The ending of the poem was confusing, but it made sense with the context of the rest of the poem. The line that said "where I long to go" was both powerful and inspiring, great work!

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  2. These five lines really give an insight into your life that you wouldn't otherwise share with other people. It really explains the confusion and fear you have without explaining a specific place. You describe a more general place, which allows it to have different meaning, depending on who the reader is.

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  3. I love how much controversy you have in this poem. I can picture you playing a game of tug-of-war with your own thoughts and longings. It is a really deep connection with your thoughts and struggles and I feel that I have learned a lot about you by reading this poem. It also makes me want to do something because you sound like you feel in danger. It's just a really deep poem.

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  4. I like how you used fear and danger in your poem. It told the reader what you aspire to do, but how you cannot do it. Good job!

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  5. I like how your poem expressed the idea that what you want is not always good for you and sometimes its best to just stick to what you know. Great use of emotions through poetic language.

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  6. This poem is interesting I like the way you said you wanted something, but you can´t always get what you want.

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  7. This is a good poem that express your life in a different way from most other and it helps understand lived your and expirence thing along with how you were raised also it shows that your dreams are wild and more dangerous than anyoe elses
    -justin

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  8. this poem shows me how you want to travel everyware and explore.

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