Ashlyn's Tanka: Ripples

                                                 Ripples

a grin ripples 
from my grandmother's face-
seeing my future 
etched deeply in those lines,
I grin back at her

Comments

  1. wow this is really good i like how you talk about your grandma so simply amazing job

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  2. i love how you tal about your experiances with your grandma and how you see your self in your grnadma

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  3. Its really good because it talks about your past experience with family members and how important that bond is.

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  4. I love how your identity is intertwined in your grandmother. The revelation of that history is the wrinkles of her grin is a stunning image. This poem blows me away! It's perfect.

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  5. I like how you gave perspective on your grandma, and how you were going to eventually take her place

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  6. I like how you use someone who is clearly important to you in your poem. I think that by using your grandmother in this poem you are showing how you can gain wisdom over time.

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  7. This is a really deep poem that lets me understand the conection that you have an it was amazing how you took your grandmas face and kinda made it into your own. Also it shows how old age is affecting your grandma

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  8. I thought that the description was very austere, which helped add to the experience of you sharing a smile with your grandmother. Good job!

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  9. this is really good and i really liked how you are comparing yourself to your grandma when you said my future deeply etched in thoes lines.

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  10. I liked the way you referenced yourself then compared yourself to your grandma.

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  11. Oh My Goodness!! This poem reminds me of my grandfather and when he passed, it is a harsh memory to keep. I love how you use ripples as another word for wrinkles, is is more memorizing. Seeing your future in her is just amazing how you put that into words, Great Job!! I Love This Poem!!!

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  12. I thought that your poem was very interesting because it shows you connection with your grandmother and how you see her as someone you want to be like in your future.

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  13. I think this poem is like, mind-blowing and when you think about it, a bit true. I think that your vision for the future expressed in this poem is so well written and described that it is just absolutely astonishing! This is like one one of the classes best Tanka's... you did a really good job!

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  14. I love how you embraced so much of what makes you, you. It was really culturally unique and I loved how you connected you and your grandma through a smile, it made me want to cry and smile. I could see my grandmother and yours in this poem. It was really deep, but also a happy sense of belonging that I felt by reading this. I have so many things that I want to ask myself about this poem and it inspired me to take more pride in my grandma and her roots.

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  15. I thought your poem was great! It was almost like a dialogue and it gave a perspective of your grandma and the hope she has for you and what she thinks of you.

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  16. I thought that this poem was really good, and I liked the fact that you decided to talk about your grandmother and how much you care about her. She must mean a lot to you, and you both really care for each other. I liked how your memories come from your grandmother. Awesome work Ashlyn!

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  17. I love how you could make a connection between you and your grandmother, and it is almost like your are seeing yourself in her. I also really liked how this had more of a light feeling to it when you smile back at her, it gave me the feeling of reassurance or a safe place to be in. Amazing job!

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  18. I love how you mentioned that you see your future in your grandmothers face because one day you might have kids then you'll have grand kids, its really touching and well-written, Nice job =)

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  19. I can see where you got the name ripples from because it seems that when people get older there they seem to get a more wrinkley face hat looks like ripples especially when they smile and it also seems that you and your grandma have a nice connection and when she is happy you seem to be happy and I like this poem because that is what it is like my grandma.

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  20. I can tell that this poem has a lot of meaning to you and is about your relationship with your grandmother. When you say "seeing my future" it seems like you are talking about growing up to be like your grandmother, meaning that you look up to her and want to be like her. At first, you start in the present time then think about your future and then in the last line when you say "I grin back at her" which brings it back to the present.

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  22. again amazing job i love this poem one of the best in the class

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  23. Ashlyn, this poem is out of this world! I had no idea that you had such an important connection with your grandparents, but you made it apparent through the excellent use of imagery through weaving the feature of your grandparents to your life. Overall, great job!

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  24. This poem is very deep ad expresses your feelings towards the future how you will move on from your grandmother's simple grin. This poem could mean a lot of things. I liked the way you explicitly described the grin and how grin back. It would help a lot if you would interpret this poem in a discussion because hearing your perspective would help me understand more.

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  25. This is really deep it shows how much you care about your grandmother and your descriptions are very good and insightful like how your fuure is etched in those lines on her face you are a super good writer and should continue writing poems.

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  26. I love this poem! I love how you decided to talk about your grandmother, it shows that you must think about her a lot. It shows that your grandmother really cares about you, how you succeed, and what your future will look like. Your personality is reflected off of your grandmother as if you were staring at your reflection in a lake or pond which are represented by the wrinkles. It seems as though you will do whatever you can to make your grandmother happy. I'm sure this touched some people's hearts. Beautiful! :D

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  27. Ashlyn, I liked how you explored certain aspects of your culture and identity by talking about your relationship with your grandmother. Reading this made me want to smile and think about my great grandma. You did a really good job of creating a really deep and meaningful poem.

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