Jackson's Poem: The Shore
The Shore
As vividly as I remember,
I remember
The shore
The blue roaring waves
The waves of no problems,
The waves of no stress.
And the shiny sandy shore,
The sand I played in as a kid
Told me I was free,
And now I was with the sand,
With the ocean
And there were the hills
The calm green that fills
Fills my mind with the
Calm but busy waves
Full of life
Climbing the hills
To the heavens
The top like mountaintops in movies
there you see everything
In the nights people would light fires on the beach full of light
And against dark they fight
The beauty of the shore never ended
Until the last day of the beautiful place came upon me
I leave.
Back to the dark dreary everyday
To the hellish two story prison to work with the intolerable.
There was no calm in this place, not this way
There was nothing left
And although I have always lived here,
Always called chicago home,
Nothing, was right.
I like how you tie this place into your home, and how it was like to leave, and how this was a big change for you
ReplyDeleteI like how you felt as if 'home' was never really home you know? something just never felt right, im going through a similar situation because my mother wants me to call her house in florida home and i honestly have similar feelings. Nice job broski =)
ReplyDeletei liked how you alked about your home and i went there with you but you talked about how that was you real home even thought you ralle like chicago
ReplyDeleteDis poem was really good. I liked the way you made a powerpoint that had corresponding pictures, like mine. The way you presented was good, you had a good tone, and the poem flowed well, great job browski!
ReplyDeleteThat juxtaposition of images between New Zealand and Chicago, and your descriptions comparing them, was striking. It made me wonder about your relationship to New Zealand--when you go there, how often, if you have family there, why you live here, etc.
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. I think that the discriptive words that you used and the calm sensation of the beach was really relaxing and the words floated off of the screen. I didn't know how important New Zealand was to you so I got to know you better.
ReplyDeleteGreat Poem Jackson! I liked how you used New Zealand, your real home, and compared it to Chicago on a home rating. I also liked how you deal with the ignorance. Overall, great poem Jackson!
ReplyDeleteJackson, your poem is amazing! I loved how you used many poetic devices usch as imagery and personification to describe your homeplace with the rushing waves and the sand (which is New Zealand), and I also liked how you talked about Chicago as your new hometown and how you adapted to it. Overall, this is an excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteyour poem was cool beause i went with you to new zeland and it was calm and chicago is very busy and i know that ou want to go ak to being calm.
ReplyDeleteThis poem reminded me of something that would be inside the place called home poem and was good overall.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was very calm. It gave a sense of freedom in the beginning and a sense of being trapped in the end. We can all relate. School can sometimes feel like hell and every once in a while everyone can use a break. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteThat was brilliant Jackerson. I thought that your poem was really good, and I think that when you grow up you should buy a mansion in New Zealand! Your poem was really deep, and I thought that that was pretty cool, so nice job mate.
ReplyDeleteI never thought that you would have seen chicago as your home but not at the same time because it is not your home. I always knew you were from new zeland but would you ever consider going back.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you described New Zealand as a place of comfort for you and while you consider Chicago your home, you don't feel like it is. I didn't really know you felt this way even though I've known you for so long. I thought it was good and had good imagery of what it is to you. Also, I liked how your poem was about the shore and you wore a shirt with waves on it.
ReplyDeleteI like how you related your poem to the shore you grew up by. It created an image of you sitting at the beach just starring at the water. I liked the poem because I love the beach and it made me think of the beach. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem was interesting because I know you come from a lot of different places but it was interesting how you call chicago home but you feel its not.
ReplyDeleteI never knew that you felt this way about Chicago and that you wish to go back to New Zealand. Imagery in the poem really made New Zealand sound like paradise and if i were you i would not want to live here either. Good job.
ReplyDeleteJackson, I liked how you used a lot of imagery in your poem and it created a beautiful picture of New Zealand. I think its interesting how you have lived in Chicago for most of your life, but you don't really see it as your home. Your slideshow contained some really nice pictures of New Zealand and it went together well with your poem. Great Job!
ReplyDeletei love how you talked about new Zealand the place that you call home for you
ReplyDeleteThis gave me more insight into your life, as I learned that New Zealand was your place of comfort and when you moved to Chicago you called it your home, but it wasn't your true home. This is a side of you that many of us don't get to see often, so thank you for sharing, great job!
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