Joshua's Poem: Untitled
Untitled
In my mind
Its reckless
when I wrote this smoke was flying out my head in every direction
Thinking of friends faker than our president
This ability was a gift from god It was heaven sent
They say I talk about my city too much
Stop that
But in reality we all walking through hell wearing a halo and top hat
Im dreaming like my last name was king
BOOM Thoughts scattered like people after a gunshot rings
Cause we all are traveling through this safari
Life isn't no game but people still playing it like atari
In my mind
I write poems that land louder than bombs
When I wrote this I had so my emotions that it was hard to focus
In my mind
I'm so ahead of my time
I’ll be looking at the future when I put my life on rewind
why they trying to take away from my shine
And swear that the worlds in danger
Time ticking and we still looking for are savior
In the 90’s gang violence was a head cold
2017 it’s a cancer and the infection has become major
How did did crips and bloods turn into queens and kings no latin
How did a box of crayola turn into mama's screams
And I know you all say I knew he was gonna talk about violence
When was the last time you woke up and smelled the roses
…...Guess I haven't been outside in a while
i really like how you did what people thugth you shouldnt do because this is something that you cared about really alot.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, this is an amazing poem! I liked how you used current, real-life events and compared it to life struggles that people have in dangerous areas in Chicago. Additionally, I loved how you described the transitioning of the city from the 90's when there was a lot of gang violence to now, when there's even more gang violence. Overall, this poem is excellent and I will be looking forward to your poems in the near future.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was very creative. You threw a lil bit of shade but it was a powerful poem. You did a good job at memorizing it and you seemed very confident with what you were presenting. Your topic was very broad but at the same time it was straight forward. Overall great job!
ReplyDeletethat was fire i liked how you wrote this poem about something completly random and it was still as good as your other ones
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really good because it talks about sensitive real world issues and it rhymed so you know that it took a lot of work and practice. It was also really good that you had a lot of good lines.
ReplyDeleteJosh, this poem is really good. I think you did a great job of showing the world through your eyes, and you put a lot of emotion into it. As you have done in previous poems, you did a great hob of showing a lot of the problems with today's society. What I don't understand what the last two lines mean, though.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was another great expression of your problems with violence and injustice in chicago and the world. It was great how you showed that it was a problem and then became a bigger one. You also showed how people were hurt by violence.
ReplyDeleteWow Josh!! This poem had so many emotions and rhyme flowed easily. I really like your poems and you could be a famous poet! I can not truly and fully relate to this but many people can probably relate. You had a clear voice and almost had a fully memorized poem! Great job and keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteMonique's Comment: Alrighty then. That was really good. I think that you did extremely well with your presentation and your content was really heavy. I think that you really got your point across and you did it perfectly. When you started you had me extremely shook. Your ending was perfect it truly was. #SHOOKETH
ReplyDeleteAwesome, this poem was just awesome. The rhyme in the poem was great, plus the extremely relative topics made this poem amazing. Though you talked about violence again, each one of your poems seem to get better and better. My favorite part of this poem was the rhyme and tone you had when presenting, awesome job Josh!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like how your poem ties into current events , tying it into your own personal life,
ReplyDeleteYour poem was really good! It almost seems like a rap in the way that it's written, which helps people pay attention to your topic. The rhymes can get repetitive, but they didn't. Part of the reason I like your poem is because you managed to rhyme something from a video game. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely amazing Josh! I really like all of the rhyming, I don't know how you say what you need to say and still find a way to rhyme. This is really deep and profound, I love your poetry. I would be uncomfortable to present something like that but you do it so well!
ReplyDeleteIt's really cool how you're confident and how you don't care if you wrote about violence a lot, i personally don't care if you write a lot about it because it is an issue and its something that has changed so much. Life should be much simpler for people and i really love your poetic skills, nice job.
ReplyDeletethis poem was really good and im just speechless and this such a good poem.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was amazing! You delivered this poem extremely well and really reached out to everybody in the room. This is something that is a big problem and it is incredible for you to take a stand to all of the disgusting and terrible things of this world. Overall, I love how you ended this poem and it truly was amazing!
ReplyDelete-Lucy
Josh, you have so much talent, it's unbelievable! I'm speechless. I was so excited to hear your poem because I knew it would be fun to listen to. I love how your poems relate to your city, Chicago. I don't really care about you talking about violence because it is a problem, it's so common here. I am still speechless. I also loved how you put in what you think about in YOUR mind and how you see the world. Once again, it is so exciting and fun to listen to one of your poems. Amazing Job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great poem! You had so much confidence in your voice when presenting, and this was really well written. I like the ending, and how it represents that there is so much violence in this city and everywhere. I also like how the emphasis you put on certain words which made the audience drawn in even more, great job!
ReplyDeleteJosh, this poem was amazing! I liked how the tone in your voice when you presented your poem, it gave it more emotion and power. I also liked how you added natural rhyme to your poem which made it more interesting. Good job Josh!
ReplyDeleteJosh this poem was sooooo good, and while a lot of your poems have been about Chicago and violence, that's about your identity which was what you were supposed to do. This poem had a good beat and I liked the rhyming you were doing. This is realistic and has a lot of importance to people they just struggle talking about it. Also, using a loud voice when you presented the poem really took it to the next level.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, as always this poem was great. You have this gift of putting your emotions into poetry. You expressed your personality through it and talked about ongoing issues in society. It had a great rhythm and figurative language. You really expressed how passionate you are about what you write and you spread the message to all the listeners. Great job.
ReplyDeletejosh the poem that you have said is the truth that chicago is truly a bad place and that it is influenced by violence and the poem seemes to really matter to you and it seemes to be a real life thing. we all kindof expected the city and violence thing but it doesnt matter because you wnated to communicate about this topic.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, your poems are always great and this one is not an exception. I like how you always write about the problems and violence in Chicago. From your performance I can tell that this topic is something that you are really passionate about and the rhyme flowed really well. Your voice was extremely clear and I enjoyed listening. Amazing Job!
ReplyDelete