Quinn's Poem: Puffs
Puffs
My momma told me
that when I was born,
everyone said what a tan baby I was,
a sun-soaked paper that she
reads in the A.M.
I was born almost a month early,
lungs hadn’t been ready this
early, like my 6 am
games at tournaments that take
an hour to arrive to.
Diagnosed with asthma,
all my life I wanted to show
everyone that I could do anything,
so hockey kept me straight,
my favorite hobby forever.
The ice is so cold
it can numb my
reality, my
feelings,
from the rest of the world.
Goalie- harder position,
more work, I love it,
I don’t know what brings me
to face things that can
stop my breathing,
stop my
heavy heart.
I take a puff.
I’m OK.
BAM!
Slap shots to the face
make my ears
ring like the phone
for emergencies,
I beg you please
don’t go Opa, I wheeze
and fall to my knees when
you can not breathe.
Death in the family
Opa leaves me.
My daddy told me
that when I was born,
everyone said what long
eyelashes I had.
I had my Grandpa’s eyes,
brown as a perfectly roasted marshmallow.
Grandpa Ed, Mr. LooneyTunes, Opa,
we used to draw cartoons happily but we
have to help him,
his Parkinson's takes him, I help
hold his cup to drink, if he does it himself,
it will shake and spill on Grandma’s white-
Tablecloth.
Now there won’t be that problem.
I can’t go to his funeral
but I have his ashes
and I keep them close to my heart because
he was an inspiration.
And to add to my family,
a loving sister.
But something was wrong.
4th grade-
She can’t focus, my parents worry,
I don’t get help,
help.
I have to help her,
help her succeed.
C’s and D’s are an achievement,
A’s are a dream.
Nobody understands what it’s like
to have a struggling little ADHD sister.
What it’s like to take care of a dove,
gentle, careful or she might break.
But I make it through.
I take another puff.
I’m OK.
My Papa Opa told me
to never let anyone
put me down but
OCD mind
isn’t a good match for
Asthma.
He is always with me,
in my eyes,
in my fire
away from the fire that
swallowed him.
Arranging my clothes in
rainbow order,
I hate a mess, parents say
deal with it,
handle it,
It can’t be that bad.
But it is.
I take another puff.
I’m OK,
I help my sister.
My Mama Opa told me
to praise God.
He is a pastor
he wants me to be
girly-girl, pink girl.
But he won’t accept
That I’m a tomboy,
heavy metal,
I am Atheist Unitarian.
Fake identity around him.
I don’t know what to do,
I’m stuck,
quicksand is taking me.
Opa help,
I’m breathing hard.
The fire is taking my oxygen.
And I’m trying,
I’m trying Opa,
you told me
to not give up,
I have no choice to-
I’m out of
puffs.
I think this was a powerful comment you connected your personal struggles to family and hockey also i didn't know your little sister had Adhd This really shows alot about you and your life
ReplyDeletethat poem was so gooooooooood best s far and i liked how you presented and the confidence ,i culd tel how you really prepared for this
ReplyDeleteDang i really love how added your asthma to your problems and how you breathe and you'll be fine. It really gives us a personal insight on your life through beautiful words, great job Quinny! <3
ReplyDeletei lik this becuase you tell new thngs about your self and asama and ocd wich can be hard for you to deal with but you still try to do challenging things and i like it
ReplyDeleteWell that was really, really, really good. It was super personal, and I could tell that it had an effect on your identitiy and who you are, so great job. It was really nice how you delivered that poem, and I think that gave the poem more effect, so great job, and keep on writing.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is very good and shows how you and many others in your family have problems that make your life harder. It showed that one of those people who had problems that you relied on very much passed away because of them. It also shows how problems you have can interfere with even your favorite things to do.
ReplyDeleteYou shared many things that I did not know about you through your writing. You had a lot of confidence while presenting. I feel like I have a better idea of who you are as a person now. You struggle just like the rest of us. I think in some kind of way eavh and every one of us in the room can relate. Good job!
ReplyDeleteQuinn, your poem is amazing! I love how you described the challenges you have to go through your life (like having a grandpa with Parkinson's disease and having a sister diagnosed with ADHD) and how you face those challenges shows your true character that you are not willing to back down to anything. I also like how you showed your poem in a first-person point of view because it allows me to see and understand what goes through your mind everyday. Overall, this is an amazing poem!
ReplyDeleteOne question I do have is, what does the word "Opa" represent?
Great poem! it was interesting the way you tied in your struggles with what makes you feel good like hockey. I liked metaphorical references to the "puff" you talk about in your poem. Great job Quinn!
ReplyDeleteThis was one of my favorite poems that was presented in this class, because the way you presented it was excellent, the word choice, repetitive themes, and the tone made this poem incredible and epic. You tell a beautiful story in this poem, of your life and your thoughts that I think is very rare to find in poetry, and you do it so well. Amazing job Quinn!!!
ReplyDeleteWOW Quinn! This poem is so good. I learned so much about you and I can really relate to the asthma part because I have asthma too, and I was born a month early. I can't relate to the part about having a Grandpa that is a different religion than you, but you presented it so well that I stepped into your shoes. It was really well written and I felt like you were running out of air the whole time that you were up there (lol) but it was exactly what you wanted to portray in this poem. Thank you for letting me into your world.
ReplyDeleteThat ending was amazing too!
DeleteQuinn, your poem was amazing! I loved how you had your struggles and realized that you needed to stay strong. I like how asthma doesn't keep you from doing anything. I always thought you were a happy child and had no problems about you. You are so brave and you got this. Amazing poem Quinn!
ReplyDeleteI feel like this poem showed me a lot about you and the struggles that you face with your family, hockey, and your asthma. You poem painted a beautiful picture and your performance drew me into it. I liked how you used your asthma pump throughout the poem as something that slows your breathing and calms you down. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteQuin, this poem was extremely powerful and vibrant with personality. You use your grandfather and yourself for inspiration to reach your full potential. The way you presented also gave your poem spirit. You don't let anyones opinion influence you which is hard for people to do, including myself. Good job.
ReplyDeleteQuinn, this was really good! It explored so many aspects of your personal identity, from everything from the asthma to what you call your grandfather. I could not hear the presentation, but just by reading it I could fell the powerful language you used, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing! I wish I were there to hear you present this because the way it was written was...unbelievable! I loved how you mentioned opa throughout your poem. It shows how you really cared about Opa and you wanted opa to be there for you. I also noticed that you talked about how being diagnosed with asthma sort of connects to you playing hockey because when you play hockey, you don't think about anything else but hockey. You also talked about your parents and what people used to say when you were a baby (You do have really long eyelashes). I just really LOVED this poem! Like, there's not enough space for me to tell you everything I loved about your poem. Amazing Job!
ReplyDeleteDaaaaannnngggg Quinn!!! That was so good! I loved how you talked about different people that are important to you during the poem but always bring it back to your asthma and how you need puffs. I see it as referring to your inhaler but when you say how you're out of puffs at the end I think you're talking about having hope.
ReplyDelete